New Year's Résolutions -- NOT!!

Francophiles, here are some resolutions to NOT make (and some alternative ideas) in the nouvelle année:

• DO NOT read Proust in the original French. Remember, you only have a year.
• DO read my forthcoming book Flirting with French, out in September. You can be done in 2 days.
• DO NOT watch the French movie Les herbes folles ("Wild Grass"). The movie is so depressing, you may not live to see 2015. 
• Instead, DO watch a pétanque match on TV5Monde. This is not your uncle Vitos's bocce!
• DO NOT ask an French emigrant to help you with your French. He or she came here to get away from France, and doesn't want to be reminded why he left
• DO visit your local French Alliance for Francophile events
• DO NOT copy the bizarre French Twelfth Night custom of hiding a ceramic baby Jesus in a cake, so that the unfortunate person who chokes on it can wear a paper crown and play "king" for the day
• But DO bake some Madelaines, even if you aren't going to read Proust (And you are not going to read Proust!) And send them to me.

Bonne anneé, tout le monde!