I'm thrilled to have a guest post for this week's Wednesday Wordsmith from Laura Ellis, a writer for the website Listen and Learn. On y va!
Laura
Ellis is currently a writer for Listen
and Learn.
Every language has its traps. It's like
they've been put there just to fool the poor unsuspecting learner, who will
come along, feeling confident about their new-found language skills,
and innocently fall into one of them with hilarious results (for everyone
watching, that is). French is no different and is full of tricky grammar,
homophones and false friends to put you off your stride and completely
humiliate you in front of your peers, hosts or love interest. It would be just
great if upon making a mistake in a new language native speakers were
sympathetic enough to keep a straight face and gently correct you, but that is
very rarely the case in my experience. You can't avoid mistakes completely and
some of them will inevitably be funny. But if, like me, you struggle to laugh
along when you get it wrong, you may want to watch out for these cringe-worthy
slip-ups.
Food Baby
Be careful when announcing that you've had
enough to eat. The French for 'full' is plein, but tell everyone je
suis plein at the dinner table and you'll leave everyone shocked,
confused or rolling around with laughter. Je suis plein is a confession
that you're pregnant, j'ai plein is the correct form to let everyone
know that you've lovingly formed a food baby, not an actual baby. Be
particularly careful in the presence of your mother-in-law.
Hot and Cold
The je
suis/j'ai trap can get you mixed up with other phrases too. J'ai froid
is an admittance that you're feeling chilly, je suis froid suggests that
you're cold and unemotional. If someone asks you if you're feeling okay, j'ai
froid will get you a coat, je suis froid will get you a friend
waiting for your inevitable breakdown. Even worse is choosing the wrong moment
to announce je suis chaud. That's fine if you're in your favourite
negligee and your partner's just walked through the door, but if you'd like
someone to put the air-conditioning on, it's best to stick with j'ai chaud,
rather than admit that you're feeling… hot. These same rules apply in German
too, so perhaps it's just us hapless English speakers who are getting it wrong.
Pucker Up
Once you've realised that je suis chaud
is going to get you into a pack of trouble, it's hard not to spot other ways
you might be a little overly affectionate. French is the language of love after
all, so it's not surprising that they're trying to trick you into confessing
your attraction to your friends or even complete strangers. Baiser is
the big one to watch out for – if you want to use kiss as a verb embrasser
is the word to use, or you might want to donner un baiser. Avoid using baiser
as a verb, in particular when you're kissing your sibling, friend or sweet old
grandmother, because it means not to kiss, but to make love. And that party
you're excited about? Don't go around telling everyone ça m'excite,
because they'll think tu est chaud.
Faux Amis
Naturally, it would be far too easy for
French learners if there were no completely innocent, everyday words that
sounded alarmingly similar to words that shouldn't be uttered in polite
company. Daffy of Looney Tunes fame, for example, is a canard, while that
guy who just cut in front of you so he could get home one second faster is a
known by something rather similar, but significantly harsher. And while you're
busy trying to avoid ordering jerk a
l'orange, take care that you're browsing the menu for the poisson
course and not the poison course. One of them will give you a healthy
dose of omega3, while the other will get you a less than healthy trip to l'hȏpital.
Unless of course you have a fish allergy, in which case poisson and poison
is the same thing.
"je suis plein" is a confession that you're pregnant".
ReplyDeleteActually no: in some regions of France "je suis plein / je suis pleine" is used to say you've had enough to eat but it is really rude and bad French, very bad French.
You can use "elle est pleine" for a cow / a dog, meaning it's pregnant. But to use it for a woman is also very rude and I wouldn't say that to anyone except if I want to be rude and show little respect.
Here is a link to the expressions you should avoid when talking about a pregnant woman:
http://www.topito.com/top-expressions-enceinte